bracelets and birthdays
by Let's Explode
Summary: "You're confused. We were talking about your stupidity, remember?" Sakura and Sasuke have an odd conversation. Not serious crack. Completely AU. Not canon compatible. M due to pervertedness.


A/N: Personally, I'm just surprised I resorted to this sort of idiocy. I blame it on stress. .

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha (at 10:46 PM):**

What.

* * *

**Tickled Pink has sent you a nudge.**

**Tickled Pink has sent you a nudge.**

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

yes?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I can't go tomorrow.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

D:

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I hath practice with Shishou.

Holy crapsticks, who has training on a Sunday?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You, apparently.

All day? Until midnight?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Nah. It's just the normal 5 to 8. But you don't honestly expect me to come after curfew, do you?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You're a grown woman. You have no curfew.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You know what I meant. AGH, Sasuke! You still have my bracelet!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Tomorrow is my birthday. Is your bracelet all you're really concerned about? -_-

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

It's a speh-shul bracelet.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You're done at eight. You have no curfew. It's done. You're coming.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Don't order me around!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Go ask Dobe or Kakashi to pick you up.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

First you demand I come to your party and now you order people around? Being a man's getting to your head real quick, Sasuke-kun.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Dobe won't mind.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I can't believe you!

I'll sic my-

...

Wait a sec. My mom's in the room.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Your mom has a normal hair colour.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Purple hair isn't normal, Sasuke-kun. My mom thinks you're my boyfriend.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

I'm your uncle.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You're my uncle.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Yes, yes I am.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Technically speaking, since we're linked mostly by Adam and Eve and nothing more, doesn't that make us not related? You're like… my disappeared uncle.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Your uncle is my cousin's husband.

How are we not related?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Are you still considered my uncle when my parents aren't together anymore?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Yes.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

So I'm an Uchiha! Sasuke-kun! :D

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Idiot.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Yes, you are.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Look who's typing.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

OH, IM A FREAKIN' GENIUS!

BOOYA, IM A GENIUS!

You're just a dummy.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Don't change the subject.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Why, whatever do you mean? :D

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You're coming to the party. End of story.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You probably couldn't catch up to my superior intellect- that's why you're confused. We were talking about your stupidity, remember?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says: **

Sakura...

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I can't go.

I'll be all stinky and bloody.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You're not on your period.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You're on your man period. That's why you're so suddenly clingy.

I was talking about my after-training stench.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Uchiha's aren't clingy.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

But some are stupid. ;P

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You're going.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Says you.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Exactly. Look. Do you want to be dragged here or not?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

… maaaaaaaaaaybe.

Is this your sick way of saying you miss me? :3

DAWW!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Don't make assumptions.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I'm not making assumptions, I'm making statements. I hath super telekenisis, so I know you miss me. You didn't even deny it.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

I haven't seen you in two weeks.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You see me every morning. :D I know you still keep our team photo by your dresser.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Why do I feel stalked?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Because you are.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Sakura, you're coming here.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I are not.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Yes, you is.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Nu-uh.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Yes.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Nope.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Then you're never going to get your bracelet back.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

BUT I FEEL NEKKID WITHOUT IT!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Too bad.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I'mma hafta risk nekkidness?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Yes. :)

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You're enjoying this! Pervert!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You said it.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You made me say it.

Why can't you be more like Itachi? He's moderately normal, gentle, non-perverted.

In this situation, he'll do the right thing and return my bracelet. Like the prince did in Cinderella.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

I am neither normal nor gentle.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You're a hobo?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Why are we friends again?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You're gentle. :D and pretty too!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

I am not my brother.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Of course not. He's like a tiger. A dying breed. He's special. You're just everyday undergrowth.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You make the worst metaphors.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Well, SORR-EEEE!

I wasn't aware I had to please you.

What, then?

Spiderman and Mary Jane as a metaphor?

Superman and Lois lane?

BONO AND CHER?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Super man left Lois lane with an alien son who can get super powers when he's mad. -.-

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

He returns safety to mankind!

HE RETURNS SOMETHING.

He rescued her lot of times, and saved her from evil!

So rescue me and return my bracelet.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

No.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Why?

You don't even like my bracelet.

You called it anal beads.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

It's mine now.

I'll katon it.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

NO.

please no.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Mine to do as I please.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Oh yeah?

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You want it.

Come and get it.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

You stupid boy!

I thought you loved me!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

It's the other way around. Remember?

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I do not love you.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

Prove it.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

I don't like boys who have a thing for their older, hotter brothers. Especially if I have the hots for said older brother.

Ouch, buuuuuuuuurn, Sasuke-kun! I WIN!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

You're going to regret saying that.

* * *

**Tickled Pink says:**

Am I? :P

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha says:**

We'll see.

_Sasuke Uchiha has signed off._

* * *

A/N: And then he appeared in her bedroom with a manic smirk on his face. He stalked towards her and pulled her to him roughly, lowering his head to steal her breath away.

Review, if you want to live. :D


End file.
